hard days.

hard-days-_-la-la-lovely

how do you handle hard days?  they are different for you than they might be for me.  and, it’s possible they might very much be the same.  a hard day this week could, very well, look different than a devil of day last week.  you never can tell.  all though sometimes, i think you can.  and, what i like to tell is, those days to scat.

i have had a lot of hard days knocking down my doors this last year, and i’ve been attempting a lot of scatting and shooing.  why, sometimes whole days have been swallowed up in the sport of shooing.  then there is wishing.  wishing the days away or for some type of escape.  when, at the end of it, you sometimes wish you wouldn’t have wished for anything except a nap.  and, when none of that seems to work than i always seem to believe french fries will.  french fries and friends, maybe?  but, the truth is there are days when even ice cream won’t do the trick.  you know those days too?

when all you can do is stand still.  tell your mind to be quiet and maybe whisper a prayer.  the simplest prayer you’ve ever prayed.  “help.”  surprisingly, i’m coming to find that to be one of the most powerful prayers i’ve ever prayed.

help.  it doesn’t always come the way we thought and certainly not always the way we want, but it comes.  i’m finding, it comes.  it comes in the form of a perfectly blue sky and bright shining sun that somehow warms you all the way to your weary heart.  it comes by way of the phone, through the encouraging words of a friend.  it comes in words written many moons ago as if written just for you.  it comes.  and the bad days go.  and, they come again.  it’s life.  but, next time don’t be afraid to ask for or even look for help.  and, maybe you’ll find soon enough that you, yourself, will be help to someone else who needs it so desperately.

so tell me do you have these kinds of days?

although being practical is sometimes hard to attain when you are in the middle of something . . .

these are some practical things that seem to help me when i’m having hard days :

 

+talk to a friend  : sometimes the hardest thing to do, in the moment, but sometimes one of the fastest ways to get out of the moment.

+take a walk : nothing clears the mind like a walk.  it makes space in your brain and also physically release feel good endorphins.  and it gets the creativity flowing.  bonus!

+listen to music : music that makes you relax, uplifts your soul, or gets you moving.  kitchen dance parties do wonders.

+read : for me it’s inspiration, fiction or self help (yes – self help or shall we say personal growth books).

+ bake : unless this stresses you out, that is.  i like to “bake it out.”  and the smell… aromatherapy.

+breathe : duh.  i know.  but i find myself holding my breath a lot.  and it has been really helpful to stop and take deep breaths and get oxygen to the brain.

+yoga :  everything about this is relaxing.

+write / journal :  don’t hold your thoughts in.  get them out.  process them.  and if it is too much to put on paper than write what you can.  about anything.  pen to paper is amazing.

+travel : yes, this isn’t always an option, but if you have opportunities, then, take them.  sometimes just getting out of your situation for awhile and having pockets of respite is enough to sustain.  i can live off of a good trip for a months.  a change of scenery does miracles in the mind.

+moments : create little moments that are relaxing, to you, whenever you can.  for me, it’s sitting quietly and reading (or writing) with a cup of tea.  for you, it might mean lunch with a friend or taking a run.

+others : do something for others.  anything (write a letter, bake cookies, visit an elderly person, help a friend).  sometimes getting outside of ourselves is the best medicine.

+chocolate  : like not a whole box of oreos but good dark chocolate.  antioxidants, friends.

+gratitude : focusing on things you have to be grateful and thankful for can help make the problem a bit smaller or at least take the focus off of it.  it’s good to write down all of the good.  you know?

what kinds of things help you?

image / lesthetiquedelinventaire

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Responses

  • Callie
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 9:12am

    Love this, Trina. Beautiful post and so sweetly written. The past year has involved much shooing here as well ;). Learning to shoo is hard but good to know. I really appreciate these tips. Many of my “peace practices” are these as well. Outside always calms me down. Xoxo
    Cal

  • Trina
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 10:46am

    thank you, callie. love the thought of “peace practices.” it takes practice, doesn’t it? i hope this next year is better one but i know the lessons learned over this past year for you (and me) will make this year always stand out. it makes us who we are and makes are good days and years not just happy but rich. xo . t

  • Noelle
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 10:26am

    miss Trina, is that you in the photo? It’s a beautiful one ;) Good post too. Hard days can feel defeating but the good ones seem to make the hard ones worthwhile. Most of the time anyway. Xo.

  • Trina
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 10:44am

    i wish that was me in the photo… i think we should do some photos like this though next time you are around. and yes, the good days do make the hard days worthwhile and i’d say the hard days make the good days even gooder (yes that is word in my dictionary). xo

  • Allison
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 10:30am

    Help is the best prayer! I have a four month old baby boy and this is my first go round at being a mom so every day and sometimes all day I pray for help and patience. I fantasize about sleep and silence more than I like to admit. But there is growth in the struggle. I appreciate time, quiet, little moments of peace now more than ever. And yoga and wine for survival-not together of course;) thanks fr this post and your honesty!
    Xo,
    Av

  • Trina
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 10:49am

    i have been there (4 times) and i’m still praying for help and patience (lots of it). hang in there. it gets easier and truthfully sometimes harder…. in different kinds of ways but every day your heart grows an inch and love just can’t help but overflow from it. take a nap and little breaks when you can and don’t feel an ounce of guilt for it! it will make you a better mom! thank you for your honesty! much love. xo . t

  • Amy Guest
    Commented on October 3rd, 2013 at 11:09am

    Such a beautifully written post! I pretty much do the same things you do when I have a bad day. I love doing yoga, so relaxing and clears my head completely. xx
    http://www.rosesjaunes.blogspot.co.uk

  • Trina
    Commented on October 4th, 2013 at 10:10am

    thank you so much! i so need to get back into yoga. move, breathe, relax, and clear your mind, making room for new thoughts! xo . t

  • Yael
    Commented on October 4th, 2013 at 4:51am

    Sigh. This post was incredibly honest, truthful and beautifully written. Brought tears to myself. Thank you so much for sharing. I, too, have bad days here and there, and just cry and cry as I don’t know what to do. That said, I am trying to breathe more, allow myself to feel the feelings, and learn how to pray. Step by step…..Thanks so much.

  • Trina
    Commented on October 4th, 2013 at 10:09am

    oh, thank you. and thank you for your honesty. i have cried a lot too. it’s good to just get it out. i tend to want to keep it all in and manage the best that i can but even if i have a good cry by myself or write out my feelings — just for me and pray. which for me, is asking for help and just talking. no need to complicate it. i tend to feel better or gain a bit of strength for the next moment. hang in there!!! xo . t

  • sarah
    Commented on October 4th, 2013 at 10:35am

    Timing is everything and your post struck me at my core. This has easily been the worst year of my life for many different reasons. I’ve been praying for New Years eve and fresh start for months and then feeling bad for wishing time away all at once. Sometimes all I can do is try and remind myself that a lot of what’s troubling me isn’t happening TO ME but rather to people around me and to try and keep perspective. Also I like to keep a running list even if it’s just in my head of the things that make me smile. (my 3 year old provides me with a lot of funny and cute material). And if all else fails getting some inspiration on Pinterest or starting a new knitting project can be great distractions. Despite my best efforts though some days are still a wash and that’s ok. Tomorrows another day and hopefully a much better one =)

  • Trina
    Commented on October 7th, 2013 at 12:05pm

    sarah! thank you for your authenticity. i have been having the worst couple of years, myself. and yet, peppered in them are some of the best moments. like you, provided by my 3 year old and 3 other children. i’ve wished away many a days too, called them a wash, pulled the covers over my head and waited expectantly for tomorrow. although hard times or problems may not go by tomorrow i really believe that each day is a fresh start. so don’t wait until new years. take tomorrow as a fresh start. and if it sucks than there is the next day. some of my darkest days have provided some of the greatest light in my life. light that i’m pretty sure will help lead the way through other dark days i may face. hang in there, dear! xo . t

  • Cyndi Finkle
    Commented on October 4th, 2013 at 10:31pm

    Manual Labor – when I am uninspired and not myself – I do any sort of manual labor to get back on track. Clean the attic, weed the garden, move stuff, deep clean something. This allows me to get out of my own head and at the same time, accomplish something practical.

  • Trina
    Commented on October 7th, 2013 at 11:58am

    such a good thought! deep cleaning works stress out and organization clears the mind, indeed. xo . t

  • Kate
    Commented on October 7th, 2013 at 4:26pm

    Thank you- I needed this! Now I am going to see if I can bake my bad day away.

  • Trina
    Commented on October 7th, 2013 at 8:58pm

    bake away friend…and be sure to add chocolate! xo . t

  • Kate
    Commented on October 9th, 2013 at 12:26am

    @Kate,So I baked- I made granola for the first time. And it really did help me refocus my energy into something positive instead of focusing on the negativity of the day. I didn’t add chocolate but I am going to next time now that I know granola is an easy base that you can add anything to and come out with something good. Many thanks for leading me in the right direction!!

  • Trina
    Commented on October 11th, 2013 at 11:57am

    kate- i’m so glad baking helped. the result in being able to snack on something sweet, helps too, yes? did you find a granola recipe you liked? i need to try granola again. last time i burned it. and yes, to adding chocolate!!!! big hug and happy weekend! xo . t

  • genni
    Commented on October 8th, 2013 at 10:22am

    Being the mother of a boy with serious health issues (since my 20th week of pregnancy & he is 8 now) I can look back at many a day where I wanted nothing more than to fall into a hole in the floor & simply disappear. I can say with complete honesty that those hard days have made me wiser, stronger & more capable of receiving love from others. Something we don’t always let ourselves do as mothers, especially when our children need so much of our love when they are sick or hurting. It’s impossible to realize the full magnitude of events in our lives (good or bad) when we are smack dab in the middle of them. On bad days I always remember there is some good that will come from it. No matter if I can see it right now or not. It’s the bad days that honestly make us better human beings. And standing on the other side I know I can weather almost any storm now. That is a gift only hard times can bring.

  • Trina
    Commented on October 8th, 2013 at 10:18pm

    love this genni! hard times can bring gifts, for sure! you are an amazing mom!!!!! xo . t

  • Tracey@chalkboard living
    Commented on October 9th, 2013 at 6:48pm

    Just breathing deeply!

    I believe the rewards of a big family are big but the stress on you to raise and care for them is big too. No one told me how much work it would be for my soul looking after so many others before myself and staying sane would be so difficult. With big love comes big sacrifice so enjoy the love x

  • Trina
    Commented on October 11th, 2013 at 11:56am

    tracey! you are so right… no one tells you! and if they did, in my younger years i didn’t believe them or pay attention. i couldn’t agree more that it is work for the soul. i LOVE that thought. and, i love the hope in knowing that that although the work is big so is the rewards. big love and big sacrafice! thanks for your words of encouragement and brilliant thoughts! xo . t

  • megan soh / petitely
    Commented on October 17th, 2013 at 7:37pm

    This year has been one of the most trying yet. I don’t have kids and am not married so I’m sure compared to the rest of these ladies I have nothing to complain about. But I’m sure you know the hard days of a single gal, too. Thanks for this post. I’ve been feeling restless and being excited yet dreading the changes in my life. I know I need to step back and embrace them, but it’s not always so simple. Thanks for sharing your genuine thoughts.
    xo

  • Trina
    Commented on October 17th, 2013 at 8:04pm

    married or not married. kids or no kids. life can be tough and change can be hard to take. i’m not the greatest at change but during these hard days, i’ve been going through, i’m starting to learn to accept some of the things i can’t change or things that are changing around me, that i have no contorl over. still learning though. but, it’s the learning and growing from the hard times that make the better days even better. hang in there….tomorrow is a new day! xo . t

  • Marissa
    Commented on October 28th, 2013 at 5:59am

    I just discovered your blog. I was looking for a lovely photo of Paris and chanced upon the one of Pont Neuf, then I read this really sweet post and had to reply. I’ve lived in Paris for nearly a year now – it’s been one of the best and also hardest years of my life; adjusting to a new city, a new home and a new way of living, not to mention a new language! I’ve been having a tough time recently and reading your post about hard days had made me feel better, so I thought I’d list a few of the things that get me through:
    http://www.ruerodier.blogspot.fr/2013/10/morning-monday.html

    Thanks for the inspiration xox

  • Trina
    Commented on October 28th, 2013 at 3:08pm

    hi marisa! thank you for your sweet comment. who would believe that moving to paris would equal hard days? i love that you shared this….as many days i think running away to paris might solve all of my problems ;) truth is hard days happen everywhere and to everyone, right? loved reading your post that was so authentic. and your list of things that get you through…. those are some of my very fave ways to get through hard days too! always tea, books, baths, walking, baking, etc. thanks again for stopping by!
    xo . trina

    ps- that aromatic bath foaming bath oil looks divine. it’s going on my wish list.

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