the past few holiday seasons have not been very festive for me. I used tape on presents and tried to use it on traditions and time with family, too. Some things just don’t stick, no matter how much tape you use. “Things are changing,” everyone would tell me. “You have to learn to let go.” “Nothing stays the same.” “Christmas should!” “Family should!” I dreaded the anticipation of the day. Of the season. I didn’t delight in the decorating, and any kind of preparation felt more like pushing through a sort of paralysis then a festive pleasure. Last year, was so different and stressful that I kind of feel like it never happened. My biggest memory of last holiday season was de-stressing by crushing candy. Not treat making. No, video game playing. I candy crushed my way through Christmas.
I don’t know if skipping last year, having a new perspective after being sick, or accepting change has given me a new outlook? Likely, the answer is all of the above. Christmas won’t be the same as it used to be. It won’t be how I think it should have been or should always be. The tape didn’t stick. I’ll miss how things used to be. My whole family together. This year however, I’m, really truly, learning to give thanks for what was. To smile at my memories, but to be so in the moment that I can make new ones.
I have a few traditions left that don’t require tape, and I’m also keen to make new ones. My anticipation is high this year, and my eyes wide like a child’s.
Maybe Thanksgiving and Christmas can co-exist, after all?
It’s still to be determined if we will put our tree up before next Thursday. I don’t like to break my self imposed rules, but then again, I’m the girl who doesn’t take the tree down until Valentines day. It’s kind of a family tradition.
Do you find the holidays to be happy or hard? I was very much awakened, over these past few years, at how devastating the holidays can be for people.
Do you have any traditions that you’ve kept since you were a child or new ones you’ve created with your kids? I’d love to hear what makes the holidays personal to you and your loved ones.