there is this conversation going on that i’m really interested in. the subject happens to be on parenting and fatherhood, specifically. i find, myself thinking about my childhood often and how it has shaped me. my parents are dear to my heart and often on my mind. in raising me they did so many amazing things (and stil do) and yet they fell short (because we all do) at times. i think about being a parent, now, myself and how who i am will play a great part in who my kids become. scary and amazing. do you wonder about these things too?
my very good friend corbyn is a filmaker (he is the talent behind all the videos you see on this blog) and he just released THE FATHERHOOD PROJECT with soulpancake.
he’s asking the simple questions:
what did your parents do right? and what did they do wrong?
simple questions with probably not so simple answers.
the thing i love about this project is the conversation that is being started. many of us, as we mature, are coming to find out that our parents only did what they knew and many did the best they could.
please watch and would you help me spread this video and keep the conversation going? if the the episode does well than more will be made! there are so many more stories to be told and conversations to be had.
you can follow corbyn and his work at :
blog : corbyn tyson
twitter : @corbyntyson
instagram : @corbyntyson
you can see more of corbyn’s work at frank and harvey
image : corbyn tyson
do you ever think about things that you wear that aren’t, in fact, “things?”
i think of things that i wish i wasn’t wearing (or carrying). heavy accessories like stress and worry. if i would take those off (or maybe not bother to put them on in the first place) i’d likely find myself wearing a smile and a laugh more often. can you relate?
what about dignity. it’s not a word i think of very often, if i’m honest. but here is what it means :
the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect
for many women the world around dignity is something they dream of clothing themselves in. they know nothing of hudson jeans and madewell dreams. they dream of dressing in respect, honor, worth and value. whenever i wrap myself up in one of my fashionABLE scarfs (above) i can’t help but think of the women in ethiopia that made them. women who have be rescued restored and valued. when i wear my scarf i wear their honor. the honor they are worthy of.
have you ever thought about what happens when you invest in a woman?
watch what happens . . .
it’s no secret that i’m a huge fan + supporter of fashionABLE. i love that their focus is on the importance and value that comes from giving vulnerable women opportunities for employment rather than charity. i’m celebrating with fashionABLE today. it’s their 3rd birthday. i love celebrating birthdays, but i love, even more, celebrating years of investing in women, adding value and giving them opportunities to clothe themselves in dignity.
to celebrate the entire online store will be discounted (scarves + leather)!
30% off, 3 days, 3rd Birthday.
so i hope you get to wrapping. wrapping yourself in one of these scarfs or maybe wrapping one up as a gift. and, wrap yourself in dignity. the dignity of the women of that made these scarfs, but also your own. you are so valuable!
p.s. you can read more about la la lovely + fashionABLE here.
i’ve been thinking about moments. moments and days to be exact. the thought that it is a million little moments that are the matter and making of our days.
the days we live in, long for, wish away, rush through, and sometimes waste, are made of moments. and, it is the moments that make and shape us into who we are, not the days.
with the change of season i’m thinking
abruptly or slowly, yet never the same.
and, so is each day
different and new – but deceivingly the same.
same schedule, same tasks
same people, same dance.
the trick is the moment.
not to be duplicated, nor ever relived.
a slight variation of words, of ways, and even breath.
breath deep the air of today
and the moments that melt away.
photo by trina mcneilly
how do you handle hard days? they are different for you than they might be for me. and, it’s possible they might very much be the same. a hard day this week could, very well, look different than a devil of day last week. you never can tell. all though sometimes, i think you can. and, what i like to tell is, those days to scat.
i have had a lot of hard days knocking down my doors this last year, and i’ve been attempting a lot of scatting and shooing. why, sometimes whole days have been swallowed up in the sport of shooing. then there is wishing. wishing the days away or for some type of escape. when, at the end of it, you sometimes wish you wouldn’t have wished for anything except a nap. and, when none of that seems to work than i always seem to believe french fries will. french fries and friends, maybe? but, the truth is there are days when even ice cream won’t do the trick. you know those days too?
when all you can do is stand still. tell your mind to be quiet and maybe whisper a prayer. the simplest prayer you’ve ever prayed. ”help.” surprisingly, i’m coming to find that to be one of the most powerful prayers i’ve ever prayed.
help. it doesn’t always come the way we thought and certainly not always the way we want, but it comes. i’m finding, it comes. it comes in the form of a perfectly blue sky and bright shining sun that somehow warms you all the way to your weary heart. it comes by way of the phone, through the encouraging words of a friend. it comes in words written many moons ago as if written just for you. it comes. and the bad days go. and, they come again. it’s life. but, next time don’t be afraid to ask for or even look for help. and, maybe you’ll find soon enough that you, yourself, will be help to someone else who needs it so desperately.
so tell me do you have these kinds of days?
although being practical is sometimes hard to attain when you are in the middle of something . . .
these are some practical things that seem to help me when i’m having hard days :
yes, you’ve likely seen my nightstand before. i wish it was a something like a stool with one book resting upon it, just so. then there would be an, industrial like, light attached to the wall and one lone little saying taped up just beside it. it would be simple, clean and functional.
but instead, this is it. a bright blue lamp (which i’m starting to tire of), books, magazines, lotions, coffee cups, cold medicine and notebooks). it’s particularly messy because, last night i decided to skip blogging and take a moment. i wrestled with this idea. i had a good post. but, i also had the knowledge that the coming week was going to be bananas. a bunch to be exact. and that maybe, just maybe, sitting down to read an us magazine with some ice cream (ice cream with potato chips in it, i might as well admit) and tea was a moment i needed to take.
i’m not the best at moments. i think more in weeks and sometimes even in years. sometimes, the most time i spend in a moment is thinking back on the ones that i cherish or fighting off regret from the ones that i missed. and, at other times, i find myself taking on more moments than two (my mind wanders).
but, think about this :
says, the girl in the hat and the cute shirt.
my mind and heart have been inundated with africa these recent days. i knew it would be. how could it not? i was going there. and then suddenly i wasn’t. one of my best friends, who lives in africa, is home visiting, my daughters best friend is moving to africa in a matter of days, and i found an old journal entry from a trip to africa 16 years ago. my conversations have been wrapped around this continent and my heart decorated by a trip that i didn’t take.
but what i did take was a change. a lot of change. so much so, that i’m still taking it. taking, embracing, sorting, saving and spreading it.
one big change is the thought that i need africa more than africa needs me. i didn’t get it, at first, but now . . . it’s got me.
watch this – you’ll see.
school starts today. i’ve been dragging my feet. it’s transition really. yesterday, i was thinking about, and wondering, why i don’t fare well with it. i’m always fine a few weeks in. but, the process of new routine is always sticky for me. and, the only sticky i care for is sticky fingers after a cinnabonn.
i love routines. and rituals, i’m even more fond of. it’s just when they change or i can’t keep up with them that i get a little bothered. and, the truth is, i’ve been a little bothered these days because i haven’t been keeping a few of my necessary rituals. things that should be routine. i have been religious about walking 30 minutes a day for over 5 years and somehow since last winter, i walked away from the walking. frankly, i’ve walked away from regular routines and things that should be routine. anyone else? i’ve almost been a bit paralyzed in putting a strict routine together because i know me and i know that i get a little upset if i can’t keep my own self imposed demands, i mean my routine.
then i’m reminded that the things that i need to make routine, are simply self care. and in caring for myself (gosh that sounds selfish – i know it’s not) i need to be kind to myself. kind by way of doing but also kind in the way i respond when i might not get the doing done that day.
currently, i’m stuck on the idea rituals. i’m wondering if you have any daily rituals . . . that, well, have become routine? i think the difference may be in the doing. rituals, at least for me, have come about from enjoyment. an enjoyment that finds itself turning into a happy little habit or necessary part of your day and, dare i say, routine.
for me . . .
wherever you are, be all there. have you seen that touted around the internet? hand drawn and hung up, at least on a pinboard or twenty or two? i have. i try it but i’m pretty crap at it. ever since i remember, from when i can first remember remembering things, i remember day dreaming of there. meaning, anywhere but here. and there, of course, changes, as all things do.
and, what if wherever you are is not where you “really” are? i mean sometimes your heart just lives outside your body. tell me you’ve felt this too? my heart is in ethiopia this week. there is no sense of being all “here” because i’m just not. sometimes we have to let our hearts travel and wander a bit so that when they return, they decorate our lives so beautifully. they seemingly fit in our bodies better and more comfortably than they ever have.
some moments (ok, a lot of moments), this week, my heart beats fast and i wonder what is exactly happening this very moment an ocean and two continents away. and so i say a prayer. a prayer that knows no distance. only hope. encouragement. strength. and change. it carries change. change and love.
the truth is, i’ve been on a few trips in my time. the life changing kind. you go and in the purest way you set out to bring things. literal things, but also things like hope. and you do your best to give but what you end up finding, in the end, is that you did more taking than giving. you find that the people you wish to bring hope + joy to end up giving you an even bigger dose of it. the very kind that decorates the home of your heart.
part of the mantra of this trip (and the mocha club) is i need africa more than africa needs me. i have been to africa before. but, if i’m honest, i didn’t fall hard for her like so many others seem to (africa got under my husbands skin after his trip and it is still there itching away). i wondered the same thing hayley wondered. but, something strange is happening here. in the not going, i’m only finding myself falling for her all the more. who knew? god did. yes.
this trip, i knew, would be full of treasure. treasure, a little word, with big potential, was the very word hidden in my heart (it took residence there the day i said yes to going). i knew it would be there, but i had no idea what it would look like or what it would be. and, wouldn’t you know, shannan found it (her post is a must read!). the treasure is the beautiful women they are meeting (jenna captured their beauty here) . . . the women that are broken but carry a beauty that can come no other way but by brokenness. and even today, the team is unearthing more treasure. the kind that will decorate their hearts forever.
as my heart is wandering this week, i know it will continue on. on the journey to fit me more beautifully than it ever has. i’m grateful for the treasure that my friends are unearthing. grateful that they are sharing it with me and with you to decorate our lives so beautifully. so beautifully that it will no longer be a hidden treasure. but a bright shining one.
one day i’ll see those treasures first hand. i’ll get to do some unearthing, myself. words like treasure know no time.
p.s. don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a beautiful scarf + leather clutch made by the beautiful women of ethiopia!
image : flower patch farm girl