one of my goals this year revolves around the word strong. indeed, it has everything to do with wanting to be strong physically. a big, loud, and resounding, YES, i’d very much like to look like the lovely in the photo above. being all strong and, likely, centered. i’m not overly fanciful in my imagination of how i think i might end up looking if i work a rigid plan. honestly, more like realistically, i won’t be rigid because that is a fool proof plan to make me not work a plan. but, this isn’t about a plan or weight loss goal, it’s about feeling and being STRONG.
since i put that word out there, without intentionally thinking about it, i have been subconsciously mulling over it. i’ve been walking and doing weights, drinking a bit more water and taking vitamins (slowly bringing back good habits) and perhaps naively i thought i’d start feeling a small increase in energy. only, it’s been the contrary. i’m still feeling heavy and sluggish and eye ball popping tired. newborn baby tired. can you see the bags under my eyes (i think they are permanent).
i’ll keep at it and and add more greens, and add more sleep, and start my yoga, and try to remember to breathe (more).
but, strong comes from a place beyond exercise, rock hard abs and an 8 glass a day water drinking habit.
i feel behind and a little out of sorts. i like my goals, resolutions, or whatever you like to call them best, written, then typed, and and sometimes shared. because, as a blogger isn’t that what i’m suppose to do? share? and share on schedule? i took a little break from blogging, as i do, which unexpectedly turned into a break from social media too. and, subsequently, i’ve had a hard time getting back into the swing of things. i felt like a holed up hermit hibernating with honeys in my home, safe from the cold cotton like snow and the snowy white noise of the online world. it was strange, and weird, and kind of wonderful. not being hurried strangely kind of makes me feel harried until i can just hunker down and be. and, in the being, i had a hard time resoluting and gathering goals. the thing is, i like to take my time to ponder. ponder, reflect and process, to be exact. this year, there just happens to be a lot (more than i wish) to ponder, process and reflect upon. i started feeling the pressure when no list materialized by the second of january. as someone who has been systematically writing out new years goals since i was a girl, i initially felt troubled. i continued to ignore the pressure to tick it off my list and concluded that a lingering list would work wonders as opposed to the list i usually force in two hours time. i gathered that it may take a few days (maybe even a few weeks) to reflect on this past year and to wonder about the next. i started writing things here and there as they came to me (paper and pen always near by) and let go of the pressure of completing it all. i did find some alone time (which i highly recommend) to really think about the last year and after i did that, i was able to clean up that lingering list, which i am proud to say is not, yet, 100% complete. it is lingering after all.
everyone has a different system. some of my friends choose a word for each year (i’m working on one of my own) and others write goals that are so detailed they border on being a full fledged business plans. finding what works for you, personally, takes time and may change over time. i just encourage you to find the time to reflect, wonder and dream a bit. my lists are personal, professional, specific, vague, attainable and unattainable. i like them that way. i know i’ll do some crossing off and i know some things will work themselves right over into next years list. some years i’ve surprised myself by crossing off a few unattainable things which makes me more apt to write down a few crazy things. you just never know. but, what i do know is that life is a little more intentional (and often more exciting) when there is a list of dreams before us.
how do you do goals / resolutions? and, do tell me, what are a few things on your list this year?
a few things on my lingering list this year are:
do you have any holiday traditions?
i almost didn’t do christmas cards this year. i’m trying to cut back on the hustle and bustle and the “have tos,” i seemingly always put on myself. i love sending cards, but just the thought of outfits and photos and wrangling made me heavily tired. thus, i succumbed to my weariness and congratulated my self on letting go a bit.
but . . . then i remembered my own personal little tradition.
i’ve been thinking about moments. moments and days to be exact. the thought that it is a million little moments that are the matter and making of our days.
the days we live in, long for, wish away, rush through, and sometimes waste, are made of moments. and, it is the moments that make and shape us into who we are, not the days.
with the change of season i’m thinking
abruptly or slowly, yet never the same.
and, so is each day
different and new – but deceivingly the same.
same schedule, same tasks
same people, same dance.
the trick is the moment.
not to be duplicated, nor ever relived.
a slight variation of words, of ways, and even breath.
breath deep the air of today
and the moments that melt away.
photo by trina mcneilly
how do you handle hard days? they are different for you than they might be for me. and, it’s possible they might very much be the same. a hard day this week could, very well, look different than a devil of day last week. you never can tell. all though sometimes, i think you can. and, what i like to tell is, those days to scat.
i have had a lot of hard days knocking down my doors this last year, and i’ve been attempting a lot of scatting and shooing. why, sometimes whole days have been swallowed up in the sport of shooing. then there is wishing. wishing the days away or for some type of escape. when, at the end of it, you sometimes wish you wouldn’t have wished for anything except a nap. and, when none of that seems to work than i always seem to believe french fries will. french fries and friends, maybe? but, the truth is there are days when even ice cream won’t do the trick. you know those days too?
when all you can do is stand still. tell your mind to be quiet and maybe whisper a prayer. the simplest prayer you’ve ever prayed. ”help.” surprisingly, i’m coming to find that to be one of the most powerful prayers i’ve ever prayed.
help. it doesn’t always come the way we thought and certainly not always the way we want, but it comes. i’m finding, it comes. it comes in the form of a perfectly blue sky and bright shining sun that somehow warms you all the way to your weary heart. it comes by way of the phone, through the encouraging words of a friend. it comes in words written many moons ago as if written just for you. it comes. and the bad days go. and, they come again. it’s life. but, next time don’t be afraid to ask for or even look for help. and, maybe you’ll find soon enough that you, yourself, will be help to someone else who needs it so desperately.
so tell me do you have these kinds of days?
although being practical is sometimes hard to attain when you are in the middle of something . . .
these are some practical things that seem to help me when i’m having hard days :
this is my new genet scarf. i’m pretty in love with it. i love the colors. the pattern. the comfort. and the courage i wrap myself in when i wear it.
yes, courage. courage is a constant theme for me. i’m always looking for it. praying for it. hoping for it. wishing for it. pondering it. and lately, taking it.
most of the things that i’ve done, seen or been apart of that have been monumental in my life, i’ve been slightly afraid of. you know the chances, opportunities, and situations that your heart screams yes to but your mind talks you out of. this is how i seem to deal with anything and everything that is great, good, and full of potential. me, myself, and i usually do an exquisite job of convincing, “no you can’t do that.” i’ve taken many passes on opportunity. adventure. change. and, on living life, really. but lately, my heart has been whispering louder than my chatty mind.
i have a pretty amazing opportunity ahead of me.
little did i know that blogging about a scarf last fall would have me crossing the ocean and two continents to ethiopia this summer.
here is the truth. my mind is swimming. from here to there and everywhere in between. the truth is, my life has been a bit out of control. some of it is my fault and some of the circumstances are beyond me. i have been having a hard time. its hard for me to say that, admit and accept it, but, it is the truth. i have been wrecklessly trying to create order in anyway that I can but it has been backfiring on me and only creating more commotion. sometimes figuring life out can be mighty tricky.
i have been trying to do a lot of figuring out. figuring out my life. figuring out this blog. figuring out me. i have no final conclusions or definite answers. it seems to work that way with me. although i do know a few turns i want to take.
one thing that i’m completly bent on is becoming more me. i know me pretty well, but sometimes i’m still not so sure how to be me. i know, shocking and a little strange. but the thing is, i like to make others happy. and in doing so, over the years, i have let go of small pieces of myself along the way.
this space, these blog of loveliness has actually been a place where i have felt found. over the past few years i have discovered things about myself that i never knew (in a million years i never considered myself creative). i’ve learned so many new things and found a place where i can create, inspire and find community. there are two reasons that i started blogging and that was that i love to write and i love to share lovely things. and friends, it is my goal to stick to that (with the added benefit of making some great friends and finding community). i’m not sure exactly how that looks or if it will differ from what i have been posting in recent days but i do know that it is what i need to stick to in order to be true to me. this blogging business has sometimes gotten the best of me. and really i want it be a place where i share the best from me.
i don’t want to loose myself on the interwebs (besides the occasional pinterest overdose). i want to share what i find and create. all i know is that this writer has to write and this finder of lovely things has to share them. so there it is. i’ll keep to my “la la lovings” and favorite decorated spaces and sharing of any and every lovely thing that just has to be shared. but you may find a few more photos of life, a few more words from the heart and maybe a day missed here or there because, life just beckons (but i promise there will be some good sharing from it).
life is what is most lovely. i want to live it. and of course i want to share it.
but just to be totally clear, i’ll still be posting here regularly (daily is still the goal) and i have some super exciting things planned for this year that i can’t wait to share. so i hope you stick around. i love the company. (and so there is no misunderstanding, i’ll still be working with sponsors from time to time as they make a lot of great things possible. i’ve been completely blessed to have made some really lovely relationships with some great companies and great people and I look forward to new connections in the coming year).
and those, lovelies are two of my biggest on my goals for this coming year.
And i always have a few things on my list that make it every. single. year. like being brave. which, i’m pretty certain it will be on my list all the years of my life. but if i have a few brave moments or accomplishments each year than i know i moving forward on the journey. i, of course, have some very specific this and thats, like take trip to england, buy a new camera, get passports for the kids, continue to simplify, cook better meals and so on. but this is the list that is taped to my desk and that I’m going to try to live :
if you are yet to write out your goals….one thing about resolutions and goals that i’ve learned a long the way is that is not good to write a bunch of “stop doing this, don’t eat that, quit this,” and so on’s. i find it much more beneficial to be on the adding side of things (see here). add more greens, take more walks, love more. yes, it’s good to get into specifics on things but you can’t go wrong with adding the good stuff.
so tell me, what is big on your goal list this year? i’d love hear from you.
p.s. i think i’m going to loose capital letters….they just seem to be getting in the way.
*photos are of my freshly arranged inspiration board. pretty interiors make me happy!
Say, how do you clear clutter….from your mind that is? Do you ever have a hard time finding free space to make room for the most important thoughts that you really should be thinking?
I have to say my mind, lately, is completely, jammed packed with details, ideas, to -do’s, and every other thing that I probably already forgot to do.
I’d like to tell you that when my mind goes into overdrive that I simply shut down my computer and tuck away my iPhone. I take some nice quiet time to myself and do something that I enjoy to clear away the madness in my mind. But that is not the case. I usually get all the more obsessive about my to do list and the little time that I have to accomplish it gets completely frazzled.
But honestly, when it comes down to it, for me there have only been two things that I know to do that help add a sense of clarity and calm (although it might only last a good 30 minutes) and for me that is exercising (usually walking) and reading + writing (for me that is my Bible and/or something, maybe even anything, inspirational and writing out my frustrations, worries, cares or concerns in a journal with a nice inky pen). Yeah, this is not really taking me away from all of the screaming thoughts but somehow it clears out a little space or helps makes sense of something that I just can’t wrap my mind around. Whether it is a personal problem or a project that I’m working on and just find myself stuck. Sometimes I find the answer, sometimes I get inspired but mostly I find a few extra breaths that I so badly needed to breathe.
What about you? I’d love to hear how you help to clear the clutter in your mind.
And say, aren’t these images so interesting? It’s a photographic series called Totem by French Photographer Alain Delorme. Can you imagine? Talk about juggling a lot at one time.
Here is to a little more space for happier thoughts + creative ideas and solutions!